Emotionless
by Mastin
Summary: One Shot/Songfic for the song Emtionless by Good Charlotte. I own nothing but my OC Keanah.


With a beer in his hand and a cigarette in the other Tig sat in the clubhouse. "Hey Tig, this just came in the mail for you." Says Gemma and lays a white envelope in front of him. Frowning he picks it up. Who on earth would send him a letter, he thinks while opening it. "Someone sending ya love letters, Tiggy?" Chibs jokes in his thick Scottish accent and a grin on his face. Tig just flips the scot of en opens the letter.

_Hi daddy,_ _I'm writing you this letter, not to tell you I still hate you or that you ruined my life. No, I'm writing you this letter to ask why. Why you left us. And I'm writing you this to ask how you've been._

_Are you happy there, where you now are? Is everything going okay there, without us? Do you have a new family? Replaced us one by one? Are gonna leave them to, or was that just out fault? Weren't we good enough for you?_

_You were just gone, without any explanation. The same day that you took me for a ride on the back of your motorcycle. I loved those rides, the wind going through my hair while I was clinging to you when we went faster._

_Do you still think about that day? Do you still think about Jaco and Ethan, your boys? Or about me, your little princess? Do you have sleepless nights when thinking about us, or did you just forget about us already? Do you regret leaving? Are you ashamed by it, or do you just not care? Do you ask yourself if we're okay?_

_We're doing great, in case you wanted to know. Ethan is happily married and has a beautiful daughter. Jaco and I are sharing a apartment close to our college. And mom is finally happy again. It was so hard for her without you. You just left her with three kids, how could you? We didn't know where you were, with who you were and how long you would be there. We didn't even know if you were still alive._ _Mom had to fight so much, fight for us. Fight against our grief, against her own grief and to become happy again. You broke her heart, but she stayed strong for us. You were weak, you walked away from your problems._

_The first years without you were so hard. Not just for mom, for us too. The most important man in my life, my hero was gone. I was only 9 years old, I didn't understand. I still don't, to be honest. What was wrong with us? Why did you leave us behind?_

_I've cried so much because of you. In the beginning I just thought you were on a run with the club and that you would be back. But after two weeks I knew that wouldn't happen. You would never come back. You didn't love us anymore, you didn't love me anymore. Mom always used to tell us that that wasn't true, that you still loved us. Bullshit, you would've stayed if that was true. You would've been with me at night when I had another nightmare. But instead of you there was grief, fear and distrust. It took years for me to trust men again. I thought they were all just like you, that they would all leave me._

_I was angry and scared. Scared that you wouldn't listen to me, that you would hurt me again. That's why it's so long for my to write this letter. But that's not the only reason, I hadn't processed it till not so long ago. You left me so many scars and it has taken so long for the open wounds to finally start healing. It hurts less, but it's still there._

_I blame you for so much and I don't think I can ever fully forgive you for the things you've done. But after all these years I still miss you. I miss your jokes, the motorcycle rides, your shoulder to cry on, your presence._  
_I miss you, so much._

_Bye daddy,  
__Your little princess, Keanah._

Staring at the letter Tig feels himself getting emotional. Without paying any attention to his laughing brothers around him he walks out of the clubhouse. He sits down on one of the picnic tables run sighs. Taking his wallet he looks at the pictures in it. Besides the picture of Missy, there's another one of his three children from his first marriage. He takes the photo and drops the wallet beside him. His finger touches the smiling faces of his two sons and daughter. Keanah had been right. He had replaced them, but there hasn't been one day he doesn't think about them. That he doesn't miss them. He hates himself for just leaving his children. If he could do turn back time, he would've done it all different. Cause yeah, he misses his little princess too. He misses them all.


End file.
